


Eight-Legged Bitch

by cherrysprite



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I need Theo HERE, M/M, Spiders, The spider is above my head as I write these tags, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: 9:10 PM - There's a black spider on Liam's curtain rod above his bed, and he doesn't quite know what to do about it. It moves fast and taunts him even as he doesn't attempt to make any moves on it, and when he calls his taller stepdad in there, it's disappeared. Point for Spider.





	Eight-Legged Bitch

**9:10 PM** \- There's a black spider on Liam's curtain rod above his bed, and he doesn't quite know what to do about it. It moves fast and taunts him even as he doesn't attempt to make any moves on it, and when he calls his taller stepdad in there, it's disappeared. Point for Spider.

**9:13 PM** \- Liam lays on his stomach on the bed so if the spider comes back into sight he'll know right away so he can glare at it, since Doctor Geyer was apparently not in a helpful mood. When the fuzzy, dime-sized menace resurfaces on the wall above his beside table, though, the security of sight doesn't stop him from almost tossing his phone.

**9:15 PM** \- Meatball the cat, the plucky, hard-trying and innocent thing, tries to jump for it from Liam's headboard and fails. It now sits in the crease between his wall and ceiling, silent and waiting.

**9:20 PM** \- Meatball meows in frustration and Liam debates throwing his shoe at it, but decides not to since if it drops he won't be able to find it again. The bitch sits on his wall for a few more seconds before making it's way towards the fan in the center of the ceiling, and Liam starts to think "If this thing starts swinging, I start swinging."

**9:26 PM** \- Liam had thought that the spider was heading for the door, but it made its journey across the room and settled around his bookshelves mounted high on the wall. Meatball rests on his cat tree and stops paying attention until it comes right overhead, and Liam huffs as his cat sits there dumbly until it's too far away to even think about reaching it.

**9:30 PM** \- The spider stays above Meatball again and Liam is angry on his cat's behalf. 

**9:33 PM** \- The nuisance has made its way away from Meatball and towards the other curtain rod, which is where Liam least wants it. Meatball chews on wires. Liam regrets moving to this house at all.

**9:37 PM** \- Eight legged bitch stays dormant in a different wall/ceiling crease and Liam loathes it. Maybe, just maybe, this thing has been in there long enough that at any second it would drop dead and starve. There haven't been any mosquitos in the house...but then again, the spider, er, nuisance might be to thank.

**9:38 PM** \- Liam almost wishes the bitch would move again. The lights flicker for a second as the air conditioning comes on at first, but the spider remains unaffected. Meatball cries to be let out of his room. His one line of defence is gone. 

**9:40 PM** \- Liam looks at the money he left on the dresser and wonders how much it would take to bribe Doctor Geyer to get it down. The spider stands still. Maybe it's asleep. Liam decides to watch something on Netflix, because his hopes of sitting on his bed and doing something productive have been completely and utterly dashed by the stupid, ugly thing across the room.

**9:41 PM** \- He even debates asking Jenna at that point, but the woman is somehow shorter than he is and doesn't believe in killing spiders, which is a good insight to have and one Liam generally shares, but his moral code flies out the window when it's in his space. Once, they had a spider in their old house that sat on the wall for almost days before it starved, since the cat they had then was equally as handsome but not smart as Meatball. She named it Harry, and the family just had to learn to accept that.

**9:43 PM** \- Liam wonders if this is a Harry version 2 situation and if God is testing him in some way. Every glance at Harry v2 shows that he looks as though he's moved a mere millimeter. Liam can't even focus on his show. 

**9:46 PM** \- He still can't pay attention to his show, so he opens his phone and goes to Instagram. He scrolls past a meme and a picture of his ex and her new guy, but pauses on a picture of Theo. The spider disappears from his thoughts for a second, and he ponders whether or not he should do it before he likes it. Score one for Liam.

**9:52 PM** \- Liam looks away for just a few fucking minutes and it's moved a foot back in the direction of the cat tree in the corner of the room. At least it's doing something. Parks and Recreation is playing in the back, but he's transfixed on the spider.

**10:01** PM - The spider stays still. Liam attaches a "Star Wars Coffee" sticker to his water bottle and he's not sure if he regrets it yet or not. He's on his second episode of Parks and Rec and for some reason he really wants to text Theo even though they haven't talked since the end of the school year three weeks ago. He wonders if Theo's dealing with a spider. Isaac calls him on the phone. 

**10:05** PM - The spider does two loop-de-loops before settling even closer to the corner again. Isaac tells Liam to text Theo and he really wants to come and tell him to kill the spider for him. 

**10:06** PM - Isaac is describing a violent movie and the spider moves into the corner. 

**10:10 PM** \- The spider moves onto the shelf wall again, Liam posts a thing on his instagram story saying "If you're over 5'8 HMU and get this spider for me," amd Isaac is still describing _Clockwork Orange_ in a vague and concerning way that makes him want to put the call on mute.

**10:14 PM** \- It takes Liam a lot of very questionable searches to figure out what movie he's thinking of when Isaac mentioned West Virginia, and it takes him way too long to remember _the Deliverance_. He's never even seen the movie, but it plagued him, and made him forget about the spider for a few minutes before Isaac launched back into joking about _Clockwork Orange,_ which he also never watched and wasn't planning to from what he was hearing.

**10:41 PM** \- Liam had forgotten about the spider and was instead putting the names of his favorite characters in a spinner to see who was the last one left, but it's back. Theo has viewed his story, FIRST, and within five minutes, he might add. It's creeping along the wall closest to him and he feels a phantom itch on the back of his neck.

**10:44 PM** \- The spider is back on the move, creeping towards his bed, and it feels like they're back at square one. Fuck life, you know? You work so hard to be a peaceful person and a bitchass spider wants to come along and ruin it all. Liam wants to take a flamethrower to the insect, and for whatever reason, the spider.

**10:46 PM** \- Just a few more feet and the spider can easily climb onto his curtain rod. They've come full circle. It feels like the end of an era. From the curtain rod, he can get onto the curtain, and then his headboard, and then his pillow, and then his head, and then his EAR- Liam needs new hobbies. The spider stops and freezes.

**10:49 PM** \- The spider has disappeared along with Liam's sanity.

**Also 10:49 PM** \- The spider reappears and gives Liam's sanity a second chance at things, since his eyesight is apparently to blame. It starts doing its second of many laps around the room.

**10:54 PM** \- The spider is on his ceiling again because the damn thing can never be anything good and do a full lap, the lazy bitch. Liam wants to go to sleep but this fucking eight legged thing won't leave his conscience alone. He needs rest for the fourth of July party the next day that he forgot his parents were hosting. Maybe this spider is a metaphor for America's independence, a necessary evil. Liam then thinks that that's a really bad metaphor and it doesn't make sense, but it's now 10:56 and he wants to sleep.

**10:57 PM -** Liam can't take it anymore. It's right above his head and he swears that he can see its unnecessary amount of legs swaying in the wind of the ceiling fan, and if one more slips off, it could land on his chest. Liam know then that he would be all over; he'd have to start a new life in a new town with a new name. Maybe he could revisit Will, what his grandparents called him instead of his preferred Liam, or he could go with a completely different name. He always did like the name Zack. But how would it go with Theo? Zeo? Thack? No, that's terrible, and Liam wants to die, because as he's staring at the land octopus on his ceiling, his death waiting to fall on him, he's thinking about a boy who could not care less about him-

**10:59 PM** \- The door opens and a voice he hasn't heard in three weeks asks in a low whisper, "Your dad let me in...where's the spider?" and the softest smile comes onto the chimera's face as Liam sighs with relief and comfort, and he points to the ceiling above him.

**11:00 PM** \- Harry v2 is gone now, safe outside, and he finds out that Theo has the same philosophy as his mother when it comes to killing things, but he can't think about it too much when Theo stops standing on the bed and cuddles up next to him instead.

**11:01 PM** \- Liam lets out one last breath before sleep takes him, "Thanks, Harry 2.0."

**11:01 PM** \- "What?"

**11:01 PM** \- "Nothing."

**Author's Note:**

> All of this happened at accurate times, but of course without my own fluffy ending >:(  
> (Liam as Myself, Isaac as my friend, and Theo as...well, a 'friend' who is always creeping on my stories lmao)
> 
> And if you were wondering, yes, the spider is still in my room. Sometimes I wish I had a Theo.


End file.
